Is that picture you when you were a baby?

I started teaching again this week... I am blessed to be able to serve at an International Christian School here in Singapore. God opened a door for me to find joy in Him through music and teaching at just the right moment. I was doing well on the outside, but holding in a lot of emotions and retreating into myself- having a purpose and goal through work has helped me with trying to move forward. Our theme in the elementary school this year is to Fully Rely on God... I am striving to do just that even through the grief and tears.

I put up a couple of pictures of Taylor in my classroom. Some of my little ones have asked about the pics- I have been asked if the picture is me several times. When I explain about Taylor and her short life here on earth I get mixed reactions. Some of them get a little confused and ask me why I (her Mommy) am still here but she is gone, some don't really understand, and some tell me I will see her again. I didn't realize when putting up the pics what an impact it would have on me personally and as a teacher. I didn't plan to work in Singapore, I planned to stay home with Taylor. I admit I am angry sometimes that my plans were changed without my consent. But, I am reminded that God in His infinite wisdom has given me a promise in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." For now, my place is at school teaching my favorite thing- music. Each day as I come to know and work with more people I see God's hand in placing me at ICS. I still miss her with my entire being every moment of every day; still crying and aching. But, I am committed to fully rely on Him instead of wallowing in my grief.

My darling girl would have been 8 months old yesterday. I'm still wearing those "ugly shoes" that I can never take off, but am able to walk a little farther each day.

Thanks to those friends still lifting us up in prayer- we are truly blessed with wonderful prayer warriors.