Since the passing of our daughter Taylor Marie in late January, I have been hesitant to be near baby girls. I never quite know what my reaction is going to be- sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel like I'm breaking into pieces, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I am just sad... I found myself closing off to babies in general, but especially baby girls. God, being the awesome Father that He is, put a baby girl in my path each day this past week. Her mommy was a teacher during our spiritual life week at school and brought her along each day. Monday and Tuesday I cried almost the whole time I was in the room with her, Wednesday she didn't come, and I am sad to say that I was happy she wasn't there. I felt like God was trying to deal with me on the issue and spent a lot of time in prayer Wednesday and Thursday morning. I decided to hold her on Thursday in an effort to overcome my fears/anger. It was pure bliss holding and loving on a little one again. I am not saying that I am suddenly all better, but God has worked on my heart. I needed that time to hold onto her to help me move forward. God, in His infinite wisdom, brought her to me when He knew I was ready. Thank you Lord for your loving kindness each and everyday.
This past week in the mail I got card saying that we had a box at the post office... I was quite puzzled about who it could be from and what it could be. I quickly called my Mom and asked her if she had sent anything or had heard of anyone sending anything over; she was just as puzzled as me. I called the number on the card and asked them to redeliver it on Saturday. We waited and waited, the doorbell rang a little after noon and K retrieved our box from the mailman. K asked me if I had knew someone named Nicholas Yancy Nischan- I told him no and then asked him to open the box. Inside the box was a care package for grieving families... what a blessing, surprise. The package included books, a cd, a photo frame, a photo album, a teddy bear, two cards and some beautiful wind chimes. We kept looking at the cards trying to figure out if we knew any of the people who had signed the card- we don't. After all these months, the pain is still fresh and comes at unexpected times. We have been and continue to be blessed by friends and strangers alike who care and pray for us. Our hearts were filled with many emotions, not the least being amazement that someone in Eastern KY gave our names/address to the foundation. Thank you, whoever you are- we love and appreciate you. After a bit of crying, we set off to find out more about the Nicholas Yancy Nischan Foundation. Check out the link to read about Nick’s life and story: http://nicholasyancynischanfoundation.blogspot.com/
Its those little things that you get and you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteAs for the shoes...always ugly, but sometimes tolerable and not so uncomfortable.
Love you,
Kelly
Oh Alaina-
ReplyDeleteI loved this. I always like stories of others reaching out to touch others. I am trying to teach my oldest right now how to try and touch another person's life each day in even some small way and how that will really touch the giver's heart most of all in a very private way. I ntocied that you had changed you profile picture and worried about this, but perhaps it is part or your grieving process. I am soon going to celerate my father's 38th death anniversary and I think this may be the first year it has seemed to come a little easier for me. I'm not sure why I even say that....and it hasn't gotten here yet. So, it takes many, many years for it to ever be easy. There are still many conversations spoken of him that bring me to tears. I am so glad that you found it in your heart to hold that baby girl. I'll bet she enjoyed being held by you. And yes, He does bring you to the path in His own time. Isn't He amazing? There will be other baby girls for you to hold and perhaps one day, a baby of your own for you to hold when the time is right. I pray for you and Kelvin all the time. Stay strong and when you are weak, look to the Lord and your husband for comfort. They are they for you. Never look away from the two of them. Love to you and Kelvin,
Lucy