Babymama was admitted yesterday. She was just supposed to go for her first doctor's appointment with the new doctor. However, the new doctor decided that she should be admitted. Apparently the blood is flowing in reverse, moving through the umbilical cord; away from the fetus. It was a strange day for me. I was doing some training for new staff, but my mind was on babymama and the baby. I rushed to the hospital as fast as I could. I guess taxi drivers are not used to being cut off by another car 3 lanes away from a deadstart.
Went to the delivery suite and found her. A friend of mine was keeping her company. They gave her steroid so as to help the baby develop her lungs. It takes the shots 12 hours for it to work. They gave her another shot at around 9pm. If all goes well, she will delivery the baby via Cesarean Section after 9am the next morning.
My mom came later in the evening... Other visitors include our pastor, a friend from BabyMama's hometown (who happens to be living in Singapore)and a music teacher who BabyMa helped in Singapore. BabyMa seemed to be in good spirit.
I stayed with her in the delivery suite that night... still in my clothes from that day at work. It was hard to really get any rest because of the machines around, but more so because of the nurses and doctors that kept coming in every 2 or so hours.
That night (or early morning), I thought of a Chinese name for Taylor. Her full name will be Taylor Marie Lee Tien Mei. Tien Mei (天美) means "Beautiful Day" in Chinese. My grandmother came up with a list of Chinese names that she thought captured the essences of what Alaina wants in Taylor's name. They were good names, but they didn't really impress on me. I wanted a name that sounded nice, but also have a deeper meaning to it.
So it happened. The song lyrics spoke to me... "This is the day that that Lord had made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
It is a beautiful day because God has given her to us Today. Regardless of what's going to happen in the future to Taylor or us, Today has it's importance. Also, "Tien Mei" shares the same initials as Taylor Marie. "Mei" is also the part of the Chinese name for "(US of) America," where her Mama's from. So she will remember part of her heritage. But most importantly, I can write "Tien Mei" without the help of a dictionary.
That morning, our new doctor and the senior staff nurse came to talk to us about the bill that will amount up for Taylor. Being a preemie, it is very likely that she will be in the NICU for a long time. The bill for a Class A ward will be through the stratosphere. For now, Babymama is still considered a foreigner. She has not gotten her PR status yet. So there is no subsidy for her. The baby can be a Citizen because I am, however, there are more hoops to jump through if we want to be able to pay the Citizen rate at the NICU. She will still get the same care, just different billing. So Babyma, decided that she will move down to a lower grade so that the bills for Taylor will be lower. Babymama's bill will be the same even though she is moving down.
At around 10am, Babymama was wheeled into the OR. The actual operation took about 30 minutes. I was brought into the NICU to see the baby. I saw Taylor for the first time there. Her tiny baby in a plastic bag (wrap) under the intense spot light just broke me. There were at least 4-5 specialist doctors and many more nurses attending to Taylor.
I spoke with the doctor... He told me that babies of this weight (>400 grams) and age do not usually make it. In fact, there are survivors. He said there were 2 routes we could go. One is to do nothing and let nature takes its course. Another is to go full examination and treatment, doing all we can do to treat Taylor. BabyMa and I decided to go all out.
(Gotta go to the Hospital now... Will continue later... but here's some pics)
... (Continue... Back from the Hospital).
Babyma was in the Post Operative Area (POA) for the entire day. She is having some medicine that required constant monitoring. In the afternoon, I went to the Immigration office. I wanted to talk to somebody who could help us expedite the PR process. The person helping me told me that there was a 3 month processing time. There are many applicants before us. I tried explaining our new situation. I wrote a letter on the spot to the Controller, explaining how my wife delivered today and we really need to have her PR done ASAP. If the baby kept to her schedule, it would have been ok, but the situation has changed. When the person read my letter, she said "So Sad." Then she begin to relate her story about her daugher-in-law (in the same hospital) not able to hold down any food. We chatted for a while, then I left.
I went back home, took a shower (have been in the same clothing since yesterday morning) packed some stuff for Babymama, then left for the hospital again.
KM and E were already there, along with my sis and the kids. KM was actually there on Day 1 since I could not make it in time. My niece and nephew were apparently noisy (because they were singing for BabyMa) and was asked to leave. The little girl was also trying to press the buttons on the machine attached to Babyma.
Now, before going up to the ward, I went to the NICU to take some videos and pics for Babyma hoping to surprize her. When I arrived, She was crying and really wanted to see the baby. A bunch of doctors were there around the bed to work on her. They finally agreed to let her go see Taylor. So I went back down with her... Took more pics... Babyma got to touch her. She was so excited and was totally speechless. You could see the joy on her face. Taylor did not look as bad as this morning. The plastic bag/sheet was gone... I was glad Babyma didn't see that. She would be even more heartbroken. Taylor has gone a LONG way in those few hours. So far, I have seen 2 doctors work on her lungs, a brain scan for blood clots, and some testing/drawing of blood.
That night, our pastor was there again. He told me that a church member's daughter worked at the Immigration and maybe able to help out more about the expedition. (Update: We just got news from her that our application has been expedited for review... may take up to a week)
Later that night, my friends K and A came to visit. Had McDonald's with them before we left the hospital. I went back home... uploaded the pics online so that everyone can see them. Check some emails/ did some work, then my boss sent me a text message over the phone.
He called me (from the office at 12:30am) on the phone and we talked for close to 45mins. He was very supportive and encouraging. He is a Christian and we talked about some biblical events related to childbirth. He then prayed for me over the phone. I sent him a pic of Taylor. He will share it with management with my permission. (Tonight, he and another colleague came to see BabyMa)
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The next day, Babyma text-messaged me to tell me they are moving her to the regular ward. She already had a sponge bath at 5:30 this morning. I left home at around 8:50am for the hospital.
We tried going down to see Taylor but the NICU would not let us. A social worker came to see us. I explained there was a some disconnect between what our doctor told us about visiting the NICU and the actual visiting policy of the NICU. The H1N1 outbreak seemed to restrict the visitation access a lot. But we did get to see her during the lunch and dinner visiting hours.
Moving to the lower class ward did not sit well with Babyma. She was thoroughly upset.
Today, the baby was under that blue light for jundice. A doctor came to speak with us. In short, she is stable but still in critical condition. Things can happen very quickly. She is experiencing some problems that are common to preemies. Right now she is having blood transfusion and other stuff going to her. She has the same blood type as me.
When Babyma and I went to see her, I touched her for the first time. I didn't dare to touch her much cause she looked so delicate... Didn't want to break her skin. I tried singing to her (I think I was a little sharp)... But I didn't really complete the parts because I was choked up. I just stood there talking to her through the plastic box... Telling her how proud I am of her... That she must keep fighting hard... That mummy and daddy love her very, very much. Looking at her, I just feel so guilty putting her little body through so much pain. I so wish they can stick those things in me instead of her.
I went to our new place today. Went to Taylor's room and stood by the door way and cried. I guess I just wanted to find a place that was quite and where I can be alone. Back home (where I now stay), Taylor's cot is another place I would break down every time I walk past it.
p.s. Just saw the trailers to Iron Man 2. Wish I could bring her to watch it with me.
p.p.s For the last 2 days, something from Dr. Suess has been ringing in my ears: "A person is a person, no matter how small."
Am crying with you, Kelvin. And praying sooooo hard.
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