Manic Monday...

Mondays- what to say? Today along with the past weekend were a doozy. Things have taken a turn for the worst. Taylor's little lung collapsed and both lungs are becoming hardened. The docs say she has chronic lung disease. The oscillating ventilator has been on her for too long and is starting to have adverse effects on her lungs; she cannot cope on the other kind of ventilator. The O2 will not seep through to her blood like it is supposed to anymore. She is on full support from the ventilator but her O2 saturation level is still only 40-80% most of the time. Her bp and pulse have gone bonkers the last two days- she is on three meds to try and control it but is not responding well. Her little tummy is full of gas and is bloating up again but they cannot do anything about it now because of the lung problems. She is on 3 antibiotics again because blood work is showing an infection somewhere. Her jaundice level is up and down as usual along with her sugar level. She is receiving lots of blood and frozen plasma to try and stabilize her. Nothing seems to be working. The docs and the nurses are working on her pretty much 24/7. It has been a long weekend and a horrible Monday. After talking with the docs this afternoon I just cried and cried. It took me a long time to gain control and be able to sing and talk to her like normal. We both lost control after we left the hospital. It is hard to watch your child be sick and not be able to do anything. I would take it all in a heartbeat if only she could be ok. We went back to see her tonight and were able to take Kelvin's parents with us. My parents got an earlier flight- they will arrive on Wed. I am thankful they will be earlier than planned. I need my Momma! The one thing getting me through this time is knowing my darling girl is resting in the arms of Jesus all day, every day. She is in the best hands- the ones that formed her perfectly in His own image. We pray she has a better night and for a better report tomorrow. A good friend told me that Taylor is doing the NICU shuffle right now, one step forward and two steps back. I pray we have a forward step tomorrow.