From BabyMama

1/13/10
- steroids, dopamine, caffeine, and dobutamine are being used to stabilize bp; doc said bp is the main concern right now; was stabilized while I was visiting her
- still pooping on her own! the contrast enema worked well yesterday; still receiving wash outs from time to time
- ventilator settings mostly the same- still fluctuating a bit as she is active and is resting
- on antibiotic to cover any infection
- chest tubes still in; one is still bubbling
- still on morphine for pain
- no milk yet- will try again in a couple of days- giving the tummy a rest first
- tummy looks much better
- lungs are the same
- sleeping soundly- not moving much- cracking eyes open for a few seconds but not waking up
- blue, white, and yellow sock cap today- so cute!
- she looked peaceful while resting today- it was a nice change

Not even my singing or talking could wake her today! She was out like a light. It was nice to watch her sleep- she was peaceful.
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I went there in the evening. Was looking at her face... She looked at me and started reaching out. I thought it was cute. Then I realized that she was also looking very uncomfortable. There was anguish on her face. I looked up... at her numbers... Her saturated O2 has dropped to 54%. I called the nurses immediately. They did some suction and increased the O2 supply. After able 15 minutes. She started to breathe a little easier. The doctor asked for another suction and, this thing, a lot more mucus came out.

That look on her face. It was like she was reaching out to me but I can't do anything. Felt so helpless.