Friday, November 27, 2009
Bigger Better Faster More... Hopefully.
After an addition in blood pressure medicine, BabyMama is having more headaches, but her blood pressure level is getting better. Much better... Stabling off around 120/80. She has been eating more for the last 2 days. Let's hope it keeps up.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Doctor's visit
She has grown only 10 extra grams. That means her weight gain is declining exponentially. Two things need to happen: 1. Mom must eat regularly and adequately, 2. Baby must be able to absorb the nutrients.
But her heart is still beating strong (See above waves). In Everything Give Thanks.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Grandmommie
Dear Taylor,
Hello little one this is your Mommy writing to you today. I have some news to share with you that is sad and happy all at the same time. Your Great-Grandmommie passed away yesterday and went to live with Jesus in heaven. Mommy was named after Grandmommie, I loved her very much. She was soo happy that Daddy and I were blessed with you in our lives. She is at rest now and is in no more pain- Mommy is thankful for that. But I am also sad that you will never meet your Grandmommie on earth. Have no fear- Mommy has a good memory (at least now while I am still young) and I will tell you lots of stories about Grandmommie and Papa so that they can be a part of your life. One thing you can rest well knowing is that your Grandmommie loved you very much.
In a few hours Mommy and Daddy go back to the doctor to see how much you have grown this past week. I spent the week in bed resting and eating as little salt as I could to try and help you to grow. I love you baby girl and want you to have every chance to be what God would have you to be. I am happy that I get to see you moving around during the ultrasound- it is so much fun to see you and feel you move at the same time. Pretty soon you will be big enough that Daddy can feel you move all the time like Mommy. He sure does love you Taylor- he sings to you and talks to you and prays for you each day. You have a wonderful Daddy- you are blessed. I love you princess- I will see you soon.
Love,
Mommy
Hello little one this is your Mommy writing to you today. I have some news to share with you that is sad and happy all at the same time. Your Great-Grandmommie passed away yesterday and went to live with Jesus in heaven. Mommy was named after Grandmommie, I loved her very much. She was soo happy that Daddy and I were blessed with you in our lives. She is at rest now and is in no more pain- Mommy is thankful for that. But I am also sad that you will never meet your Grandmommie on earth. Have no fear- Mommy has a good memory (at least now while I am still young) and I will tell you lots of stories about Grandmommie and Papa so that they can be a part of your life. One thing you can rest well knowing is that your Grandmommie loved you very much.
In a few hours Mommy and Daddy go back to the doctor to see how much you have grown this past week. I spent the week in bed resting and eating as little salt as I could to try and help you to grow. I love you baby girl and want you to have every chance to be what God would have you to be. I am happy that I get to see you moving around during the ultrasound- it is so much fun to see you and feel you move at the same time. Pretty soon you will be big enough that Daddy can feel you move all the time like Mommy. He sure does love you Taylor- he sings to you and talks to you and prays for you each day. You have a wonderful Daddy- you are blessed. I love you princess- I will see you soon.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, November 21, 2009
“Life’s a journey, not a destination…”
One problem with being a music fan is that you pretty much think in that “language.”
We went to the specialist on Wednesday for Taylor to be checked out. Long story short, her growth resembles that of a 19-week-old fetus. She is 21-weeks. The specialist said that there is high resistance in the channel that supplies Taylor with nutrition; which is why she is not getting the food, hence, not growing. She was 260+ grams last week; this week, she is 290+ grams. She should be weighing about 400 grams at this point of the pregnancy (about one pound minus 20 Famous Amos cookies).
Dwarfism was ruled out at this point. That is because she is growing proportionately, just smaller than the norm. There are 2 possible causes of the low growth rate. First, the high resistance (in the placenta); second, a chromosomal disorder. It is possible that high blood pressure can make it difficult for the fetus to receive the nutrition through the placenta. If that is the case, we should try to reduce the blood pressure through rest and drugs. On the other hand, if it is a chromosomal disorder, there is really nothing we can do about it.
After the visit with the specialist, we went to our regular gynecologist. This was where the dilemma/confusion comes in. According to her, the blood pressure wasn’t exactly high enough to cause such low growth rate. Such growth rates are seen in later stages of pregnancy. She said that if Taylor’s growth continues to slow down, we may need to take her out earlier. Much earlier. The gynecologist also said that although the earlier tests for chromosomal disorders were negative, if we wanted more accurate results, we should consider an amniocentesis. There is a possibility that a fatal trisomy was not detected.
An amniocentesis will tell us if a fatal disorder is present. But will that change our behavior? We love our baby too much to let her go. We want to give her a fighting chance. But it is hard… to want to continue the pregnancy even if (you) know the baby is not going to live more than a week after birth. I don’t know what made me say it, but as we continued discussing with our doctor, I blurted out, “I know we would want to keep the baby regardless… ‘cos for us, this whole pregnancy is as much about the journey, as it is a destination.” That was paraphrasing from the Aerosmith song “Amazing.” Babymama thought about that song too when she heard me say it out. I guess it was appropriate. This has really been a journey for us. We have grown too attached to her. It is harder to let her go now.
We decided that the amniocentesis would not be the best thing for us now. We will try to lower the blood pressure through behavior modification and drugs. We will monitor the situation closely. Hopefully, when we go back to the doctor’s next week, we will see some improvement.
It was hard not to break down.
We went to the specialist on Wednesday for Taylor to be checked out. Long story short, her growth resembles that of a 19-week-old fetus. She is 21-weeks. The specialist said that there is high resistance in the channel that supplies Taylor with nutrition; which is why she is not getting the food, hence, not growing. She was 260+ grams last week; this week, she is 290+ grams. She should be weighing about 400 grams at this point of the pregnancy (about one pound minus 20 Famous Amos cookies).
Dwarfism was ruled out at this point. That is because she is growing proportionately, just smaller than the norm. There are 2 possible causes of the low growth rate. First, the high resistance (in the placenta); second, a chromosomal disorder. It is possible that high blood pressure can make it difficult for the fetus to receive the nutrition through the placenta. If that is the case, we should try to reduce the blood pressure through rest and drugs. On the other hand, if it is a chromosomal disorder, there is really nothing we can do about it.
After the visit with the specialist, we went to our regular gynecologist. This was where the dilemma/confusion comes in. According to her, the blood pressure wasn’t exactly high enough to cause such low growth rate. Such growth rates are seen in later stages of pregnancy. She said that if Taylor’s growth continues to slow down, we may need to take her out earlier. Much earlier. The gynecologist also said that although the earlier tests for chromosomal disorders were negative, if we wanted more accurate results, we should consider an amniocentesis. There is a possibility that a fatal trisomy was not detected.
An amniocentesis will tell us if a fatal disorder is present. But will that change our behavior? We love our baby too much to let her go. We want to give her a fighting chance. But it is hard… to want to continue the pregnancy even if (you) know the baby is not going to live more than a week after birth. I don’t know what made me say it, but as we continued discussing with our doctor, I blurted out, “I know we would want to keep the baby regardless… ‘cos for us, this whole pregnancy is as much about the journey, as it is a destination.” That was paraphrasing from the Aerosmith song “Amazing.” Babymama thought about that song too when she heard me say it out. I guess it was appropriate. This has really been a journey for us. We have grown too attached to her. It is harder to let her go now.
We decided that the amniocentesis would not be the best thing for us now. We will try to lower the blood pressure through behavior modification and drugs. We will monitor the situation closely. Hopefully, when we go back to the doctor’s next week, we will see some improvement.
It was hard not to break down.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
We love you Taylor
Well, I went to the doctor on Monday, November 9th for my 20 week check-up. I started up on the 4th floor with a special ultrasound to make sure you are forming and growing just the way you are supposed to. Your bones in your legs and arms are so small you aren't even on the growth chart little one. But I tell you your little bones were straight as an arrow and I loved getting to watch you move around for almost an hour. Your heart is strong and is working properly- we could see the blood flowing to and from just like it is supposed to. Your bladder, brain, and stomach look good as well. I think you may have your Daddy's nose! You are a mover and a shaker little one- you are hardly ever still. Your little hands and feet are the cutest that I have ever seen. It was so cute to watch you wave your arms and kick your legs. When you get a bit bigger, I am going to have a time resting if you still move about like you do now! After the scan, I went to see Dr. Wong- she is the awesome lady that is going to help me bring you into this world. Dr. Wong is a bit concerned about how small your bones are and about how little you are weighing these days. We are going to see a special doctor on Wed., Nov. 18th to have some more pictures of you. I am such a lucky Momma that I get to see you again and don't have to wait 4 whole weeks this time. Darling, I know that you are perfect in God's sight and I trust Him to care for you. Baby girl, Daddy and I love you just the way you are. We are just going to have to face the fact that you will never be an athlete! You have no hope of being tall because Mommy and Daddy are very short. You will be our petite princess :) I am standing on the promises of God sweetheart that all will be fine when we go for the next test. I want to share some verses from Psalms 139 with you darling. These verses have brought me comfort this week as I wait for the next test to happen.
Psalm 139:13-17
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Darling, I am going to close for know but want you to know that you are never far from my thoughts and I am always lifting you up in prayer. I love you baby girl.
Psalm 139:13-17
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Darling, I am going to close for know but want you to know that you are never far from my thoughts and I am always lifting you up in prayer. I love you baby girl.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
20 weeks and counting :)
Hello, Baby Momma here. It is 3:37 am and I cannot get comfortable enough to sleep. It is amazing that something so small can make you so uncomfortable when you try to lay down and sleep! On a happier note, I started feeling Taylor move around some this week- it is an amazing feeling. I am 20 weeks today and am feeling it! The good news is that the nausea has passed for the most part and I am hungry again. I can't eat as much as I used to at one time but eat several times a day to make up for it! I am really starting to show and have to wear maternity clothes 95% of the time now. I will go to the doctor tomorrow for my 20 week appt. and ultrasound. This time it will be a very detailed ultrasound that checks for fetal abnormalities. The scan takes about an hour. The nice part about the detailed scan is that I get to see my darling Taylor for a whole hour. The bad part is that the technician will not print out any pics for me- she will send them electronically to the doc. I am praying that all is well with my purple princess. The dreams have slowed down a bit and I am thankful. Moving day will be soon and we cannot wait. It will keep me busy unpacking boxes and making a home for my little family. Don't worry- I won't do any heavy lifting and will rest when I need to. I'll post more after going to the doc.
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